One-Liners

Work-safe one-liners I like to save.

One-liners

• Law of the universe, basically.
• On an aircraft, you should always put on your oxygen mask before helping others.
• You can just do things.
• “Listen, if I’m trying to sell you something I’m not going to tell you what’s wrong with it.”
• <Name> has no idea how this happened. <Name> is smart enough not to ask questions.
• Why can’t we just have nice things in life?
• I have a diverse musical palette.
• Trying to explain quantum physics to a dog.
• I can. And I will.
• It’s OK to laugh.
• Oh no, anyway.
• We did it before, we’ll do it again.
• …is the best thing since sliced bread.
• You know what that does sound— (walks away)
• Forget everything I said. I like this show again.
• My genius. It’s frightening.
• One more and I’ll believe you.
• I will take no questions.
• Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
• For legal reasons, I have to say no. For anecdotal reasons, sure.
• Chef’s kiss.
• Sir, this is a Wendy’s.
• We are in the endgame now.
• These are dangerous words.
• Giraffes are just silly long horses.
• And let there be light.
• What am I supposed to do with this information?
• When does the story start?
• Oop oop, my normal steely guard is falling.
• Show me <X> without saying <X>.
• Game recognising game.
• That asks more questions than it answers.
• Now come face your destiny.
• Just putting it out there.
• The dreaded one arm shoulder hug.
• You have badly misread the situation.
• You have to let it go.
• Act blur, live longer.
• Beggars can’t be choosers.
• You know, I’m something of a <____> myself.
• Blink twice if you need help.
• Not all heroes wear capes.
• Eat bland food, I’ll be providing all the salt.
• If it’s worth doing it’s worth overdoing.
• I’m not superstitious but I am a little stitious.
• Shakira Law — hips don’t lie.
• This is what peak performance looks like.
• The law requires that I answer no.
• A man of culture.
• What’s the opposite of thank you?
• Your dedication to science is truly impressive, sir.
• Maybe it’s meant to be.
• Look it up.
• Certain je ne sais quoi about her.
• Director: “What effects do you want?” Singer: “Yes.”
• Go on… there it is!
• Yeet.
• (0.01%) So you’re saying there is a chance?
• The more you know.
• Well, you know, that’s just like your opinion, man.
• “That must be exhausting.”
• What a positive experience for one of us.
• Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
• That’s debatable.
• I can live with that.
• I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around.
• This is beyond science.
• There is a method to his madness.