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One-Liners and Borrowed Phrases

· 5 min read

A running collection of lines I've picked up, stolen, or made up. No particular order. Work in progress.

  • Thanks, I hate this
  • Law of the universe basically
  • On an aircraft, you should always put on your oxygen mask before helping others
  • You can just do things
  • "Listen, if I'm trying to sell you something I'm not going to tell you what's wrong with it"
  • You just insulted my entire race of people. But yes.
  • Why can't we just have nice things in life
  • I have a diverse musical palette
  • Loud bass makes car speakers go brrrr
  • I feel like 2021 was the year where people who peaked in high school really found their voice on the internet
  • Trying to explain quantum physics to a dog
  • How can a loving god cause such agony
  • I know how to kiss. I've read books.
  • If I had a nickel for every time that happened, I would have two. Which isn't a lot, but it's still weird that it happened twice.
  • I can. And I will.
  • Bone jaw. Hello in French.
  • For me to live in your head rent free?
  • I have become ungovernable.
  • I bet it was never the same emotionally
  • It's ok to laugh
  • Just remember you are more afraid of it, than it of you.
  • Raise your arms above your head and yell really loudly.
  • That seems the right way
  • She makes me feel things
  • Frankly a sea lion has no business being this charismatic.
  • Pure, unadulterated apathy
  • Oh no, anyway
  • I like to use big words, it makes me feel more ambidextrous
  • Like when the food hella good, you say bone apple tea, it's like French or some shit
    • I completely photosynthesize with this
  • "You call that a tongue?? THIS is a tongue!"
  • We did it before, we'll do it again
  • Yup. I instantly have a mental crisis.
  • Is that a threat? That seemed like a threat.
  • And I'd do it again!
  • The lord is testing me
  • ...and then he burst into flames
  • I find your lack of faith disturbing
  • ...is the best thing since sliced bread
  • You know what that does sound — walks away
  • I feel like no one should be able to wield this much power, except me
  • My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined
  • Forget everything I said. I like this show again.
  • Just take the hit
  • My genius. It's frightening.
  • One more and I'll believe you
  • This aggression will not stand, man
  • I will take no questions
  • Damned if you do, damned if you don't
  • My retirement plan is to die in the climate wars
  • I like that I don't know what it means and yet I'm afraid I do know what it means
  • This guy is a god
  • For legal reasons, I have to say no. For anecdotal reasons, sure.
  • Chef's kiss
  • My eyes are up here
  • Sir this is a Wendy's
  • We are in the endgame now
  • These are dangerous words
  • Giraffes are just stupid long horses
  • And let there be light
  • What am I supposed to do with this information
  • When does the story start?
  • Oop oop, my normal steely guard is falling
  • Your distance is hurting me
  • I can't say yes but I won't say no
  • Show me X without saying X
  • Game recognising game
  • That asks more questions than it answers
  • I'm a middle class fraud
  • I look forward to my death threats
  • Now come face your destiny
  • It's about sending a message
  • This will follow me to my grave
  • Just putting it out there
  • The dreaded one arm shoulder hug
  • This right here is the hill I will die on
  • That's my birthright
  • You have badly misread the situation
  • That's what she said
  • You have to let it go
  • Where is your god now
  • Name of your sex tape
  • Act blur live longer
  • Beggars can't be choosers
  • Sorry I don't listen to hip hop
  • This is why women live longer
  • You know, I'm something of a ____ myself
  • Does that bother you
  • Blink twice if you need help
  • Playing the long con
  • Cool story bro
  • Not all heroes wear capes
  • The only thing a vasectomy does is change the colour of the child
  • Your muted response is appropriate
  • You are about to witness the power of street knowledge
  • You brave a world you cannot understand
  • But shit it was 99 cents
  • If it's worth doing it's worth overdoing
  • I'm not superstitious but I am a little stitious
  • Every day we stray further from the lord's light
  • Shakira law — hips don't lie
  • This is what peak performance looks like
  • If you keep this up you'll lose me
  • The law requires that I answer no
  • Don't tell me how to live my life
  • A man of culture
  • What's the opposite of thank you
  • Your dedication to science is truly impressive sir
  • Maybe it's meant to be
  • The old bait and switch
  • Look it up
  • A certain je ne sais quoi about her
  • Director: what effects do you want? Singer: yes
  • Go on... there it is!
  • 0.01% — So you're saying there is a chance?
  • The more you know
  • Well, you know, that's just like your opinion, man.
  • "They're nihilists, they don't care about anything."
  • "That must be exhausting."
  • I'm sickened but curious
  • What a positive experience for one of us
  • I am aware of the effect I have on women
  • A man of refined taste
  • Money can be exchanged for goods and services
  • Look at Mr High Performance over here
  • That's debatable
  • I can live with that
  • I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around
  • This is beyond science
  • There is a method to his madness
  • To the troops. Both sides.

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