Never thought I'd be the one to post a thirsty shirtless but I'll allow myself a pass on this one. I hope you do also.
I wanted to share this photo because we never hear about the perils of a normal person's physique "transformation" - this was after a year of consistent effort absent of any steroids and nearly no alcohol/coffee/fun. That means a whole lot of hours in the gym at the expense of a social life and a very many bland chicken breast lunches and dinners. Cause fuck flavour, am I right?
It's tough to admit this but I feel just as insecure about the way I look today than when I took the photo on the left. I have come to realise how you feel about yourself on the inside has very little to do with how you look on the outside. And that everybody; Everybody struggles with body-image issues. To varying degrees, sure, but I'm convinced we all do. And I'm tired of living in a world where we pretend we do not.
Like many others, I would gladly trade all my vanity muscles to be just a little more self-confident in myself and just a little happier. If only for a day.
Still. I think it's a worthwhile gamble to continue this journey of becoming a physically stronger person (and not a 'better-looking' one). As for the mental battle, I'm sure I'll figure it out along the way. It's back to the gym to kill some demons inside me for now.
Thanks for indulging me and reading thus far. You might be thinking - "Yash you asshat! What are you getting at? Isn't it terribly hypocritical of you to share a story about body positivity after spending over a year (closer to two at this point) conforming to a traditional and frankly toxic definition of masculinity?" Perhaps. Maybe that is the case. Or maybe, I'm trying to show that no matter how good you look, you'll always end up feeling like shit. So why bother.
I don't know. I'm still figuring it out. If you have an answer, I'd love to hear it.
It just felt important to me to share my story.
Much love <3